Sometimes I have an idea I really don’t want to forget, and I let it escape me to prove a point. Somewhere along the line, I developed the belief that if something really mattered, it would stick, so I would never lose anything of value. Everything essential will stick.

There’s this person, someone who meant a lot to me at one time and who, despite my best wishes, still means something to me now. The glue joining our shoulders melted into a sticky puddle, and we kept trodding over each other in an attempt to escape it. Despite our efforts, we completely unstuck.

I felt really sure of my decision to call it quits; I feel sure of it. I felt suffocated, and I couldn’t keep my head on straight with another person’s voice creeping into it. So I left, I walked away from the situation.

Yet I’ve been carrying sticky residue on my shoulder for months now. I can’t escape the mention of your name or your face; I can’t stop things from reminding me of you.

You hurt me, and I know you did because I felt it, I feel it. I feel it every time I say something that you would’ve rolled your eyes at, I feel it every time I make a point you’d disagree with. I feel it every time my mom asks about you.

I keep pretending like I don’t see pieces of you still attached to me.

There is a part of me that will forever feel closest to you, but when I hear your name or see your face, I couldn’t feel further away. I hate it.

This was in my best interest, but God, it does upset me to be distant from you. I long for the initial attachment, before the glue hardened, and we did with it.

I had this dream that you came back to me, and this time you understood the words I spoke.


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