I pull each hair out one by one for fear of being still

I say I have a lot to learn 

Truthfully
I revel in the unpolished 
The uncouth 

My words sometimes feel vulgar
razor sharp
It excites me 

I like to be crude
I like to be crude often 

I also like to be 
an orderly young woman

I like to live on that verge

Teetering on the edge
A second away from provocation 
A world away from order